


Confronting Violets

by PresidentDragon



Series: Look I'm Just Kinda Gay For Lydia [6]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Original Character(s), POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Slow Burn, also I'm not sure how "graphic" my depictions of violence will be considered, better safe than sorry tbh, ok it's less "enemies" and more "I kinda hate you"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24730723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PresidentDragon/pseuds/PresidentDragon
Summary: The first time Verza Skullcrusher barged into Dragonsreach, it was the middle of an already chaotic afternoon. The second time, she charged through the hall with a large stone tablet and a wood elf companion. The third time, she was covered in ash and rubble and blood. And now she was Lydia's problem.~ Wherin Lydia learns first impressions are deceiving, Verza has the fate of the world dropped on her shoulders, and they both learn to love.
Relationships: Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Lydia, Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Lydia
Series: Look I'm Just Kinda Gay For Lydia [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1018986
Comments: 34
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I know the summary is cheesy. I rushed to write it at midnight b/c I wanted to just start posting this bad boy already. As some of y'all know, this is a rewrite of Skyrim in Lavender. However, there are a few key changes you may notice, specifically that our dragonborn got a name change to something more befitting an Elder Scrolls Orc. (On that note, I've basically LIVED on the fandom wiki for Skyrim for the past few weeks holy moly. I knew there was lore but not THAT much lore)
> 
> Anyway, my hope is that this time around the story will flow a lot better, and I actually have an ending in mind so we've got something to work towards! Some of the main quest plot points are followed in this fic, but we won't be following them all the way to that end. This is Lydia and Verza's falling-in-love story, if you want the Skyrim story y'all can play it yourselves.

The first time Verza Skullcrusher barged into Dragonsreach, it was the middle of an already chaotic afternoon. The agitated orc woman snatched the attention of all the resident warriors as she described the dragon attack on Helgen. Lydia found it all a bit fantastical from where she stood off to the side. Dragons in Skyrim? Please, they had enough problems as it was without all this.

For a few weeks, that had been it. The stranger was given a gift of gratitude and a request to speak with the court wizard, then left and didn't return. The first few days Lydia found herself curious about the woman's exploits, but she was quickly distracted by work of her own. 

The second time, she charged through the hall with a large stone tablet and a wood elf companion. Lydia only saw her in passing as the woman headed straight for Farengar's quarters. Less than an hour later Dragonsreach was overrun with the city's guards as they rushed to send forces to the western watchtower, where yet another dragon had been spotted. During the chaos, Lydia and a few others were ordered to stay behind and protect the city if it became necessary.

Time slowed to a soul-crushing crawl, making the next few hours pass like years. In the distance, they could hear the howls of a foreign beast. Then, finally, an unbearable silence while they waited for the others to return or to join the fight. Just as Lydia felt herself crack under the quiet pressure, a chorus of shouts echoed through the city, barely muffled by the hall's stone walls.

_"Dovahkiin!"_

Jarl Balgruuf sat up straight in his throne as the last of the shouts rattled through the building. His eyes lit up with new interest as Verza Skullcrusher once again burst through Dragonsreach's front doors.

This time, she was covered in ash and rubble and blood, her thick black hair singed where it poked out from under her helmet. At first glance, her silver-blue eyes almost seemed to glow, but Lydia dismissed it as a trick of the light.

The dragon was dead, thank the divines, but at the cost of the watchtower and an unknown number of lives. However, that loss was quickly forgotten as Verza continued to tell how she absorbed said dragon's soul. Part of Lydia refused to believe it, but the woman didn't seem to be faking her lack of understanding of what that meant. What the shouts heard throughout Skyrim meant.

Jarl Balgruuf appraised her once she finished recounting the evening's events, then waved his council closer. After a hushed discussion, he stood tall and raised his voice.

"You've done a great deed for me and my city, Dragonborn. By my right as Jarl, I name you Thane of Whiterun. It's the greatest honor that's within my power to grant." he said. Verza, for her part, seemed… unimpressed? Confused? Whatever she was feeling, it wasn't the awestruck gratitude that others expressed at earning the title.

“I assign you Lydia as a personal Housecarl,” Jarl Balgruuf continued, “and this weapon from my armory to serve as your badge of office.” Lydia stood straighter and nodded at the mention of her name. It was to be expected, she supposed, since she was the only housecarl without a charge. But expected did not need to mean welcomed, especially when her service was being given with only half a sentence.

The Jarl spoke a bit longer, but Lydia wasn't listening anymore. She preferred to silently stew in whatever bitter thoughts found their way into her mind, their hoarse voices screaming "unfair". Ah, but since when had life been _fair_? Wasn't that the point? That there would always be those born to be hailed as heroes, and then there would be those like her, born to flounder in their shadows.

Then again, what could be more satisfying than defying the fates' design? Floundering had, in her experience, made her that much stronger. Lydia took her still screaming, traitorous thoughts and shoved them down where they couldn't be heard until she could dispose of them properly. As she returned to the present, she realized the Jarl had finished speaking, and her new Thane was very quickly approaching.

“The Jarl has appointed me to be your housecarl. It's an honor to serve you,” she said, cool and careful with a slight bow. Verza stopped just in front of Lydia, her iron helm already removed and tucked under one arm. 

"Thank you? To be completely honest, I'm not sure what all this means, let alone if I deserve it," Verza laughed, surprisingly lighthearted given the situation. 

Her voice was rough, like the smell of a bonfire. Smokey and harsh, but not entirely unpleasant. However, her lighthearted acceptance of her new title, an honor many strived and ultimately died for, left a vile taste in the back of Lydia's throat. She swallowed it down before it could sour her expression.

Before Lydia could respond, Verza's companion slapped a hand on the orc's shoulder with a grin. "Come now, my friend," he said. "It's a great honor to be named a Thane, not to mention learning you're the Dragonborn of legend! Now's not the time to try being humble." He faced Lydia properly while Verza scoffed at him. "Please, take no offense at her words. Verza is still new to Skyrim and her traditions."

Lydia nodded to him and tried to keep her expression even. "Of course," she said. How he seemed to read her purposefully unreadable exterior she had no idea, but she made note not to let her guard slip again.

"This is my travel companion, Faendal," Verza explained. "Ah, but not for much longer. He plans on returning to Riverwood after all this trouble." Verza feigned a pout. "It seems the prospect of dragons has him running scared."

Faendal pushed her with a laugh. "Of course not! Who would protect my home should a dragon attack Riverwood?"

Before Verza could make her retort, Proventus called out to her for a quick word. She excused herself and left the two to stand alone. Lydia glanced at Faendal as the new Thane walked away, then stepped forward so they were at a more natural distance for a conversation.

"How does one make friends with such an… interesting person?" she asked after a few stifling seconds of silence. Faendal snorted at her question.

"The same way you make friends with anyone, I suppose. Meet by chance, perform a favor, then take on a few draugr and a dragon together." He watched Lydia carefully as he spoke, trying to gauge her reaction. At her disinterested hum, he continued. "Then again, I can't speak for her view of me. Perhaps to her, I am merely a distraction that, in trying to repay a debt, nearly tripled it instead." He shrugged and breathed a small sigh. "Either way, I'm glad to have known her, even for just a short while."

Lydia hummed again, less disinterested this time and more out of lack of anything better to contribute. Before much longer Verza returned from her conversation with Proventus.

"Good news for you, my friend! The Jarl has arranged a meal and room for you at the Bannered Mare tonight if you want it."

Faendal smiled at her. "I would be happy to accept, the journey home will be a long one after this. I should give the Jarl my thanks before I leave, then. I'd like to head out early tomorrow morning, so I'm afraid this is goodbye for now."

Verza grabbed him by the arm and pulled him in for a quick but tight hug. "No worries. Are you sure you don't want company back to Riverwood?" she asked as they pulled away. Faendal shook his head.

“No, my friend, you've done plenty for me. Be safe out there. You can call on me again anytime.” He raised a hand in farewell, then walked away to relay his thanks. Verza waved as well, and Lydia mumbled a "safe journey" after him.

Verza glanced back at Lydia and grimaced for a moment. "Proventus actually pulled me aside to give me the Jarl's invitation to stay for a meal and some rest, but when I asked for my friend, he seemed confused. I guess in all the mayhem they didn't realize he had come with me and wasn't one of the city guards." 

Lydia looked over, just a little surprised. It was unlike the Jarl to make a mistake like that, she thought. Well, on a normal day at least. But today hadn't been normal in the least, so she could hardly blame him.

"I am glad we were able to offer him something in return for helping us in all this, then," she said. Verza nodded, but she had a glint of mischief in her eyes that gave Lydia reason to pause.

"Anyway," Verza said, cutting off her thoughts. "I was told that, as my housecarl, you'd also be joining us for dinner. If it's not too much trouble, would you mind explaining some of this to me?"

For the first time that night, Lydia managed a small, albeit slightly strained smile. "As you will, my Thane."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner time yum yum

The kitchen staff had a meal set out on the hall's massive dining tables unbelievably quickly considering how less than an hour before they had been under the threat of a dragon attack. Lydia made sure to stay out of their way as the staff bustled about, and Verza, unsure what else to do, followed her example. She had to admit, it was a bit amusing to watch the tall, fairly conspicuous woman try to make herself unobtrusive. Eventually, Verza settled on leaning into the pillar they stood by while holding her arms crossed over her chest. For a short while, they just watched the busy staff dart to and from the kitchen, not once running into each other or the other people milling the hall.

"So, the Jarl said I'm a 'Thane' now. What exactly does that mean?" Verza spoke up suddenly, startling Lydia out of her reverie. It took her a moment to recollect her scattered thoughts enough to answer the question.

"It's a title awarded by the Jarl," she said. "He believes that you have performed a considerable service for our hold, so naming you Thane is a gift from him. The title is only one of honor, though, so you have no extra responsibilities to the Jarl or the hold if you don't wish it." Lydia wasn't really sure how else to explain it or reinforce its power. With the title of Thane, Verza could do pretty much whatever she liked and everyone would look the other way.

Verza scowled and turned back to watch the bustling staff. "I don't know about all that. All I did was find some rock and kill that dragon, but I had help for both."

Lydia replied with a noncommittal hum. She couldn't respond honestly because she completely agreed. What  _ had _ Verza done that the rest of them couldn't? Lydia could name at least three other warriors in Whiterun alone that had cleared many more dangerous ruins for the Jarl. And while she didn't know much about dragons, she knew for a fact those same people took down at least ten giants between them. The biggest difference between them and Verza was that no one was convinced they were the Dragonborn. Lydia couldn't say if she believed it herself, but she didn't put much stock in legends anymore.

The Jarl, however, seemed to believe it wholeheartedly. Which brought Lydia to the question: Why name her Thane? Verza hadn't proven herself to truly be the hero from legend, and granting an honor for dragons not yet slain was a fool's errand. With either side of the war pushing in at every turn and dragons returning to Skyrim, the Jarl surely had more to worry about than naming the first new Thane in years.

Lydia's mind screeched to a halt, and she glanced at the man she'd been serving for the past decade. He rarely, if ever, did anything that didn't directly benefit his people. So, making Verza a Thane  _ must _ favor Whiterun Hold somehow. She couldn't be sure, but she suspected this wasn't just an act of gratitude. Possibly worse, she couldn't tell if that explanation would pacify her or stir her outrage even more. Either way, the whole situation was giving her a headache.

"I cannot speak for the Jarl," Lydia began after a moment. "But I'm certain he has plenty more reason behind his decision." Verza nodded sagely, but Lydia doubted she had a full grasp of the consequences of her title.

Soon after, Dragonsreach's massive dining tables were fully set. The Jarl took his seat first, followed by his brother and children, then everyone else. Verza actually made a move to sit first, but Lydia caught her by the arm and shook her head. Once the necessary people had taken their seats, Lydia pulled away and gestured forward, just enough for Verza to see. As she sat, Lydia took a moment to rub her scrunched brow and silently bemoan her new Thane. Divines help her, what was this woman thinking? 

Once everyone was seated, the Jarl raised his goblet to signal the start of the meal. From every side, conversation bubbled up and joined the crackling of the central fire pit as a constant stream of noise. Lydia took a careful bite, her ears open should anyone address her. It wasn't until she was about halfway through her dinner that Verza finally spoke to her.

"This might be another stupid question, but, uh, what does a housecarl  _ do _ ?" Verza asked. Her plate was, to Lydia's surprise, clean aside from some crumbs and grease. Lydia hastily swallowed before answering.

"Simply put, I am sworn to protect you and all you own with my life."

Verza frowned but said nothing. Her gaze moved far off, and she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts for a long moment. Lydia took a sip from her drink as she waited for more questions, but none came. 

Finally, Verza said, "Well, I can take care of myself and everything I own is on me, so your job shouldn't be too hard." She said it like she was trying to make a joke, but it fell terribly flat. Even her laugh afterward sounded forced.

From their left, Proventus coughed politely to get Verza's attention. "I hate to interrupt, but I thought you might be interested in some property for sale here in Whiterun." Verza perked up almost instantly.

Lydia nearly inhaled her drink but caught herself just in time and set her cup down before she could drop it. She tried to resume her meal as normally as possible, but her movements were stiff and her knuckles white. At the same time, she thanked whatever divines were listening that Verza was now thoroughly distracted by discussions of the abandoned house in Whiterun. Lydia scrambled to regain control of her composure and tune back into the conversation on her left.

"Thank you for the offer," Verza said, sounding slightly disappointed. "I'll have to wait to take you up on it, though. Anything I had before Helgen is long gone, and my last few adventures haven't been quite  _ that _ lucrative."

Proventus waved his hand. "Of course, of course! No one said it had to be purchased immediately. It's not as if anyone  _ here _ will be moving in any time soon." He laughed like it was a well-known joke, but Lydia couldn't find it in her to even politely chuckle. Instead, her jaw tightened just that little bit more.

"Anyway," he continued. "If it's gold you're after, there are a few bounties you could look into. I know a group of bandits has been terrorizing merchants up to the north a ways-"

"Proventus," the Jarl cut in, clearly exhausted by his steward's rambling. "Enough talk of business. Let our guest enjoy her meal in peace. We could all use some after today."

Proventus nodded to the Jarl, only looking a bit embarrassed. "Of course." he said, then murmured to Verza, "I can get the details of it to you later."

"I'd appreciate it," she snickered. It looked like Verza was holding in a full fit of laughter, though Lydia doubted Proventus found as much amusement in being reprimanded by the Jarl.

The rest of the meal went peacefully enough, though, and soon the Jarl's children were yawning and nodding off in their seats. Jarl Balgruuf took this as a sign to dismiss everyone for the night and helped lead his children to their rooms. A servant approached Verza and offered to show her the way to her guest bedroom, but before they could leave Farengar asked to have a word with the new Thane. Lydia, seeing that this shouldn't have much to do with her, excused herself for the evening. Verza wished her a good night, but no one else acknowledged her leaving. 

Within twenty minutes, Lydia had her armor put away and her nightclothes put on. She sat on the edge of her bed considering what to do next. She wasn't very tired yet, but she really should go to sleep. The next few days were sure to hold many changes, and she'd rather face them with a good nights' rest. Instead, she swept the long room with her eyes and took it in for the first time in a very long time.

The only other person in the room was a guard sleeping in a near-identical bed in the opposite corner. Many of the guards that protected Dragonsreach or its prison made their home here rather than in the city's barracks. Housecarls-in-training would usually claim most of the beds, but there hadn't been much need for people with that kind of specialized training in Whiterun for quite some time. In fact, when Irileth declared Lydia's training formally finished, she warned that Lydia might spend the rest of her career in Dragonsreach. Not that that was the worst thing in the world. She got to go on far more special missions than the average guard, never got stuck with patrolling the city, and had considerable say in her work. Overall she had things pretty good, but she couldn't help wanting  _ more _ .

Lydia flopped back onto her bed with a quiet  _ whump. _ She hated reflecting like this. Things were as they were, and all she could do was roll with the punches. It was how she'd survived until now and it was how she'd survive whatever being Verza's housecarl had in store. She just had to convince herself that this was a good change despite what it meant for some of her other plans. Lydia might finally be able to leave Dragonsreach, and someone else could begin housecarl training.

In a final attempt to clear her mind, Lydia focused on counting the stones that made up the ceiling until her eyes started to burn. Then, she rolled properly into bed and leaned up to blow out the candle on her bedside dresser.

She would feel better in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Verza has zero brain cells, I've decided. Lydia has all of them, and she refuses to share.  
> Thank you for reading, y'all's support means a lot to me. I'll have the next chapter sometime in the future, I don't know. I'm posting this right before bed so I'm too tired to think. Later~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia feels better(?) in the morning, but not for long.

As always, Lydia rose well before the sun. Aside from the kitchen staff and morning patrol, she was usually the only one up and about that early. Normally, that suited her just fine. She could stretch, do some warm-up exercises, and eat her breakfast all before anyone tried to give her orders. Today, though, the extra time seemed more like a curse than anything else. Lydia ended up flopping, fully dressed, back onto her remade bed. She just needed a moment to figure out what to do now.

She hadn't asked Verza what her plans for the day were, and she had no idea when the orc woman might wake up. The last thing she wanted was to lose track of her Thane completely on her first day of service. Also, if Verza left Dragonsreach before giving Lydia any kind of orders she'd be stuck waiting for her return, unable to leave in case she was called upon. 

Though, now that she thought about it she wasn't sure Verza would even want Lydia by her side. What was it she said... "I can take care of myself"? Did that mean she preferred traveling alone? That man, Faendal, didn't he say something about a debt he was repaying? Could that be the only reason she brought him along? Having seen them interact, she figured it wasn't the only reason, but that didn't mean Verza would want someone she'd just met defending her in battle.

All these questions were giving Lydia a headache again. There were too many factors and she had too little information. Then her stomach gurgled, and that snapped her out of that spiral of thoughts. Breakfast was as good a place to start the day as any, and she could bring some to Verza as well. It couldn't hurt to try getting on her good side, and if the night before had been any indication the woman had quite the appetite.

Now with the ghost of a plan, Lydia pushed off her bed and hurried to the kitchen. She tossed some rolls, a cheese wedge, and a few apples into a basket before making her way to the guest hall. Every few minutes another familiar face would greet her, congratulate her, and wish her luck. Lydia smiled and thanked each one, but she feared having to greet them all again the next morning.

Finally, Lydia turned the corner to the guest hall. This small portion of Dragonsreach housed its four guest rooms and was usually vacant, so she was certain the only closed door led to the room Verza was given. She knocked and waited for a response.

After a short silence, she knocked again and asked, "My Thane?"

Still nothing. A glance through the window at the end of the hallway showed the sun barely peeking over the horizon. For the first time in years, Lydia cursed herself for being such an early riser.

Thankfully, a wooden bench sat along the opposite wall. Lydia resigned herself to waiting there for Verza to wake up. As she sat, her stomach grumbled again to remind her why she woke up in the first place. She set her basket of food on the bench beside her and pulled out her share.

Waiting wasn't too bad for the first hour or so. She had her breakfast to distract her, then a guard came by and they spoke for a while. The guard had a patrol to return to, though, and Lydia was left at the mercy of her own wandering mind. She kept finding herself recounting the previous day's events and getting stuck on the suddenness of it all. Everything was happening too quickly for her taste, not that she cared for change all that much in the first place.

Hoping to derail her racing thoughts, Lydia stood and moved to the window. There wasn't anything particularly interesting outside, just some grass leading to the city wall, but it had to be better than staring a hole through the guest room door. Watching the sun slowly inch up and away from the horizon seemed to do the trick. Nearly an hour later, she didn't even notice the soft creak of a door opening, she was so entranced. She also missed the padding of bare feet on the threadbare rug. In fact, it wasn't until a voice spoke up right behind her that she realized any time had passed.

"Hey-" was as far as they got because Lydia's body reacted before her mind could. Her right elbow shot backward, directly into the speaker's gut. As they doubled over, she caught their shoulder and spun to pin them against the wall. Her right arm pressed up against their throat as her left hand darted to the dagger on her hip.

"Agh, cool it!" Verza croaked. She had both hands up with her palms forward and her face was twisted into a grimace.

 _Shit._ Lydia blanched and nearly tripped over herself in her haste to release her accidental victim.

"I- My apologies, my Thane! I was waiting for so long and it was so quiet, I-" Verza waved off the rest of her explanation with one hand while the other rubbed at her freed throat.

"No, no, that's on me," she coughed. "I shouldn't have startled you. Holy shit, though, I'd hate to be the poor bastard that tries to sneak up on _you_." Verza managed a rough laugh, clearly finding the event hilarious.

Even so, Lydia couldn't stop the shame rising from her stomach and tinting her face red. She secured her dagger in its sheath and dipped her head, not daring a glance at the amused woman. With one hand, she gestured to the basket still on the bench.

"I, um, didn't know if you would be hungry, but I brought some breakfast with me," she said. Not that it mattered much anymore. She doubted Verza would want someone who nearly attacked her following her around.

Verza's eyes followed Lydia's gesture, her face going from amused to ravenous in half a second. "Oh, thank you! I'm starved, actually." She hurried to the basket and rifled through its contents. It wasn't until she'd taken a massive bite of an apple that she looked back up.

"Wha' 'bout you?" she asked around the fruit in her mouth. To Lydia's relief, she swallowed before trying again. "Have you eaten yet?" 

"Yes, before you woke up." Lydia still couldn't bring herself to meet Verza's eye. Instead, she moved to the wall opposite the bench and held her treacherous hands tight against her thighs. 

Satisfied with Lydia's answer, Verza sat to devour what was left in the basket. Lydia just waited in silence as Verza ate, unsure of what else she should do. It didn't take her too long to finish the small meal, though, and soon Verza had the empty basket settled onto her lap.

"So, uh," Verza started, scratching at the back of her neck awkwardly. "I know I asked last night, but how does all this work? Do you just... follow me around? Because that sounds like a lot of work, I won't lie. Before the dragon happened, I sort of planned on just exploring. Seeing what I can see, if that makes sense. I'd hate to drag you away from your life here just because of that, though..." she trailed off, passing the burden of conversation onto Lydia. 

It took every ounce of self-control Lydia had not to jump on Verza's words. She wanted out of Whiterun more than anything! It was the very reason she trained so hard to be a housecarl instead of being satisfied with the more stable life of a city guard. But in her position, what Lydia wanted didn't matter. She would do her duty as Verza's housecarl regardless of her personal desires. So, she shrugged, forced her face into a neutral, bored expression, and did her best to meet Verza's gaze. 

"My life here is without ties on purpose. As your housecarl, it is my duty to protect you and your belongings however you see fit. If that includes traveling the country, then so be it," she stated flatly. Her mind was chanting _"Take Me With You"_ , which was incredibly distracting and made it very hard to speak.

Verza just frowned. After a brief silence, she said, "What do _you_ want?"

Lydia's jaw clenched, and she had to look away. It was terribly cruel to taunt her like this, and Verza had to know that. In all her years of training and service, it was made perfectly clear that her desires meant nothing. Lydia was a walking blade, meant to protect whomever she served.

"What I want is of no consequence," she said, very close to spitting each word out like the seeds of a bitter fruit.

For a few, terrifying moments, Lydia was certain Verza would tell her to stay behind. Each second of silence slogged into the next until Lydia could feel herself choking on them. The entire time, Verza's eyes burned through her skin. Finally, something snapped and she forced herself to meet Verza's gaze. 

She would have preferred Verza kicked her to the ground and stomped on her fingers. It may have even hurt less. The damn woman was looking at her with the pity reserved for orphaned children left on the street, and it made the ugly, angry, prideful part of her rear its head and scream. Lydia crossed her arms and lifted her head to glare down her nose at Verza. Her bored appearance suddenly turned into a snarl.

"I suppose you ought to ask: can you survive exploring Skyrim without my blade?" she growled.

The silence was back immediately and it left Lydia's ears ringing. Then, Verza burst into a fit of near hysteric laughter, much to the relief of the part of Lydia that had not lost its senses. She let go of the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"If it's sharper than your tongue, probably not," Verza admitted between hiccups. She had to take a deep, calming breath to keep from falling back into giggles. "I guess I'll meet you in the front hall. How's fifteen minutes sound?"

"As you will, my Thane." Lydia choked out. As she hurried away, the echoes of Verza's laughter rang through her mind. She thanked the divines the entire way back to her quarters that Verza found humor in her outburst. One of these days, that tongue of hers was going to slit her own throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen... Lydia angry 24/7 and I think that's valid. Also I feel like, lore wise, it makes a lot of sense for housecarls to be extremely skilled and I want that for her. I've got some other housecarl "rules" cooking on the back burners right now, and once again the wiki doesn't put a lot of detail into this subject so I can do what I want and Todd can't stop me.
> 
> I promise we're leaving Dragonsreach soon...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Verza and Lydia take on some bandits causing trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of many chapters that will include A LOT of violence. I don't think it's anything too gruesome, but if that's not your jam then... don't keep reading this fic I guess? There's going to be a decent amount of fighting from here on out, so this is me warning you to turn back RIGHT NOW if you dislike reading that.
> 
> That being said, let's go kill some bandits.

They had just made it to the city gates and Lydia already missed the stuffy warmth of Dragonsreach. Autumn's chill was creeping over the hold with each passing day, and her linen and leather under armor did little to protect her from the cold steel of her outer armor. It didn't help that she still hadn't gotten herself a proper helmet, leaving her nose and ears exposed to the early Autumn air.

"If I may ask, my Thane. What do you have planned for this particular excursion?" Lydia asked once they passed through the gates. Verza adjusted the battleaxe on her back and gave Lydia a grin that showed off the full length of her tusks. From a side pocket of her pack, she produced a bounty letter very similar to the ones Lydia had seen before.

"I thought we could start small," she said, handing over the letter. "Proventus mentioned this bounty last night, just some bandits causing trouble. It should be easy enough, and I'd like to see how you handle yourself in a real fight."

Lydia skimmed the letter and nodded, though she didn't like the sound of being judged on her skills. It made sense that Verza wanted to see how she fights, though. There wasn't much sense in dragging Lydia hither and thither if she couldn't be any help. She had to admit, she was just as curious of Verza's fighting style as Verza was of hers. 

Verza's plan seemed reasonable enough. The camp in question sat a little over an hour's ride from the city, making it an achievable goal for the day. Since they were leaving well before midday, they should be able to make it there and back before night truly set in. However, as they made their way to the main road Verza didn't veer towards the nearby stables.

Lydia paused, glancing between Verza and the stables a few times. "My Thane, I don't mean to be rude, but wouldn't a horse be faster?"

Verza froze, her shoulders hunched to her ears. Immediately, Lydia knew she's hit some kind of sore subject. She tried to stammer out an apology when Verza turned back around with a grimace plastered to her face, but the orc woman waved her empty hand as if to reassure Lydia she did nothing wrong.

"No, no, it's alright I- Horses have never really liked me all that much," Verza said. Her free hand went to scratch the back of her neck as she continued. "Something about me puts them on edge, I think. But I don't mind! Walking suits me just fine, and it keeps my endurance in check." She finished with an embarrassed chuckle. 

That was the second time in less than an hour that Lydia said something completely idiotic. She resolved to paste her mouth shut if it would keep her foot out of it. Who was she to question a Thane, anyway? If Verza wanted to walk all the way to Markarth, then it was Lydia's job to make sure she survived, not criticize her mode of transport.

"I shouldn't have mentioned it," Lydia said, trying to keep her frustration with herself from leaking into her tone. She held the bounty out to Verza. "We'd better keep going if you want to arrive before nightfall." Verza took the note and nodded, then started back down the well-traveled road.

All things considered, the day was a fairly pleasant one. Movement along with the sunlight warmed Lydia up enough to ignore the Autumn chill. She made sure to stay alert, though. Any number of dangers could lurk along the roadside. Every few feet, Verza would spot a flower or wild herb and break off the path to pick it. Honestly, Lydia felt like she was shepherding a child. After the fifth or sixth stop, she asked what Verza planned to do with all the plants she collected. The woman just shrugged.

"They're probably useful for something," she said.

Each component was carefully sorted into individual pockets that lined part of Verza's traveling pack. Aside from those and a bedroll, the pack was empty. Lydia could appreciate traveling light, she rarely carried more than a couple of days' rations herself, but as far as she could tell Verza didn't even have that. If Lydia tried to figure out what went through this woman's mind, she'd wind up losing her own. Best not to think about it.

It was still early afternoon when a plume of smoke became visible over the horizon. As they got closer, the wooden fortifications common to bandit camps slowly came into focus. Verza steered them off the road itself once a few humanoid figures could be made out. They ducked behind a rocky outcrop about a hundred feet away.

Verza shrugged her traveling pack off her shoulders and shoved it under a nearby bush. Lydia followed suit, but was much gentler with hers. A wild grin spread across Verza's face as she surveyed the bandit camp entrance.

Wooden stakes surrounded the opening of a small cave that had been boarded up and given a door. Three bandits stood around a small fire and appeared to be talking. Around them were some stacked barrels and crates, though not nearly enough to be their full hoard.

“Looks like it's just the three of them outside,” Verza hissed.

“They're probably just guarding the entrance. Most of their group should be inside the cave,” Lydia whispered back. "Do you have a specific plan?"

Verza turned her wild smile to Lydia. “Nope!”

And just like that, she was gone. She vaulted over the outcrop and barreled towards the three bandits. Lydia couldn't tear her eyes away from the blur Verza had become. The bandits' shouts quickly snapped her back into action. She drew her sword and dashed around the outcrop to join the fight.

Already, Verza had one bandit pinned under her battleaxe. She kicked out their knees and with a sharp pull, her axe was freed from their shield. The bandit fell, their shield bouncing out of their grasp. Verza swung like she was chopping a log in half, and even if her blade didn't make it all the way through the bandit's leather armor, their chest was crushed completely. 

The other two bandits were frozen in shock halfway through raising their defenses. As soon the first bandit was dispatched Verza had her attention turned to the next. She hit this one in the arm, just above the elbow, and his scream echoed around the clearing. Lydia saw the final bandit break free of their stupor and start charging Verza's unprotected flank.

Lydia lifted her shield and sprinted the last of the distance between them. She caught the bandit’s blade with her own just before it made contact with Verza. With the rest of her momentum, she bashed them with her shield. The bandit fell back, air driven from their lungs by the impact. Lydia drove her blade through their unprotected throat, then immediately spun to find the nearest threat.

To her surprise, there was none. Verza pulled her battleaxe from the other bandit's body and leaned onto it. She was, Lydia noticed, hardly out of breath. Actually, she seemed almost disappointed. Lydia flicked her sword, splattering loose blood onto the dirt.

“Are you unharmed, my Thane?”

Verza waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, I'm fine. Sort of thought they'd put up more of a fight than that.” She turned to face Lydia properly. "What about you? Are you alright to keep going?"

Lydia snorted. "After  _ that _ ? Of course I am."

The grin from before was back on Verza's face. Without warning, she kicked down the feeble door to the small cave the bandits had taken over. For a moment, it seemed as though no one inside had heard, but then footsteps and shouts echoed through the tunnels. Verza readied her battleaxe and strode into the dank tunnel, Lydia close on her heels. A bend in the tunnel cut off their line of sight roughly ten feet in.

The first bandit to round the corner took a heavy blow to her chest that knocked her to the ground. The second dodged her body by a hair and took the opening to swing his mace at Verza. With her weight still in the first swing, she couldn’t move in time and the mace dug into her upper arm, just below her pauldron. Verza growled as it hit, losing her grip on her battleaxe with that hand.

Without warning, a small blade flew past her ear and burrowed into the bandit’s shoulder. His arm jolted backward, knocking the mace loose. Rather than fix her grip on her weapon, Verza swung a punch with her injured arm. Her fist connected with his jaw, knocking him to the ground. An arrow whizzed above her head.

Behind her, Lydia caught the arrow with her shield. This wasn't good. Another bandit rounded the corner with an arrow nocked in their bow, and the one Verza hit earlier was back on her feet with a dagger in either hand. The tunnel was too narrow for Lydia to get a hit in without hurting Verza. Throwing her knife had been her only choice, but she didn't have anymore. If she could just get past Verza, give the orc woman a chance to catch her breath.

The archer let loose another arrow, staring Verza dead in the eye as it flew. A dagger stabbed into her thigh just as the arrow dug into her upper arm where the mace had hit. Lydia could do nothing but watch Verza stumble back a step, nearly dropping her weapon. She prepared to push past Verza, but before she could a guttural, violent force ripped through Verza's body. Time slowed as the air itself bent to Verza's shout and rippled down the tunnel. Then, like thunder after a lightning strike, the sound of it echoed back on Lydia. It felt a lot like the Greybeards' shout from High Hrothgar, but this time it wasn't weakened by miles of distance. The reflected shout forced her back a step, and she couldn't imagine being hit with it point-blank.

The bandits weren't nearly so lucky. The two that had been standing were shoved against the far tunnel wall, their heads slamming back against hard stone. The one knocked to the ground probably got hit with the least of it, but if he wasn't unconscious before her most certainly was now. Verza shuffled back to fall in line with Lydia. She was hardly panting, and if her grin was any indication having the time of her life.

“First time I tried that,” she huffed. 

Lydia was dumbfounded. Not only was that the single most incredible thing she had ever seen, but Verza wasn't even fazed by it. She couldn't think of anything she could say to that, so instead, she dashed forward to take over the fight.

She made quick work of the man lying prone, stabbing through his throat as she had earlier. The two before her were quickly recovering from Verza's shout. The archer lined up another shot, aiming this time at Lydia's exposed head. She rolled forward to throw off their aim and slashed upward diagonally, cutting through part of their hand and snapping their bow in two. Lydia let the follow-through spin her back to standing and finished with a horizontal slash that cut through the archer's throat. Burning hot blood splattered across Lydia's face as well as the bandit to her right, who bellowed in rage at the slaughter of her companions.

Loud, clanking footsteps alerted them to Verza's approach shortly before her shout to duck. Lydia dropped to her knees immediately, lifting her shield above her head just in case. Nothing the bandit could have done would have stopped Verza's battleaxe from crunching straight through her clavicle and ending her enraged cries. As her body slumped against the wall and her companion's corpse, Verza retracted her axe with a slick, sucking noise.

"See, now  _ that's _ what I call a fight!" she crowed. Lydia couldn't help rolling her eyes as she pushed herself back to her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like choreographing and writing fighting scenes, and I'm excited to include more of them in the future. I booted up Skyrim (special edition) again as "research" for this fic, and the fighting mechanics leaves a lot to be desired, especially since I've been working through the Dark Souls games and absolutely ADORE the fighting in that game. All this to say that the fighting in fic will be a bit more realistic than "hit dude with sword until dead"
> 
> Now that it's July, I'm also participating in Art Fight 2020! I mostly mention it b/c I've included Verza as one of my original characters, so if you'd like you can check out my drawing of her here -> https://artfight.net/character/979286.verza-skullcrusher
> 
> That's it from me, I'll see y'all later!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some healing, more fighting, and a lot more thinking.

If Lydia was being completely honest, it felt amazing to fight again. It had been months since she'd last left Whiterun, and training didn't have the same adrenaline-filled rush of a violent skirmish. Then again, training didn't pose the same risk of injury. Lydia took a quick survey of herself and, aside from a bruise or two, seemed unscathed.

Verza was a different story. The arrow in her arm immediately stood out as an issue, and the deep gash it was embedded in was still leaking blood. Verza didn't seem to notice her injuries, though, since she slipped her axe onto her back and began kicking through the mess of bodies. Lydia forced herself to hold back another exasperated sigh.

"My Thane, you're injured," she said bluntly. Verza glanced at her arm in surprise, as if she'd only just noticed the arrow embedded in it. Lydia continued speaking while removing her bracers and leather gauntlets. "I've treated arrow wounds before, so please allow me to take a look."

"What, this?" Verza turned back to Lydia with that stupid, unconcerned grin back on her face. "Don't worry, I can just-"

“Unless being Dragonborn gives you another pair of arms, I don't see how you can remove it without causing more damage,” Lydia snapped, arms crossed and a tight frown on her lips. That was almost definitely out of line, but she'd heard those words before. Well, words like those, and they were always followed by misery and death. Lydia refused to be known as the housecarl whose Thane died during her first day of service. 

Verza's smile wavered, but Lydia held her gaze steady. After a tense moment, Verza sighed and moved to sit against the tunnel wall. As soon as Verza looked away, Lydia sagged in on herself. That could have ended much worse. She turned back to the tunnel's curve to listen for approaching bandits. When she was satisfied that they were safe for the time being, she knelt by Verza's side.

The gash in Verza's arm was fairly shallow, but blood still dripped from the torn skin. Unfortunately, until the arrow was removed the area couldn't be cleaned or wrapped in bandages. Lydia held Verza's arm still with one hand and tried to roll the arrow between her fingers with the other. The entire arrow twisted the tiniest bit, startling a yelp out of Verza. 

"A little warning?" she hissed. Lydia winced, then carefully pulled her hands away.

“I had to make sure it didn't hit bone," she explained. As she spoke, she opened a hidden leather pouch under her tasset. From it, she produced a folded linen bandage and a small vial. "It didn't, which is good, but it needs removing before the arrowhead comes loose. This will hurt, but you must relax, or it may tear through even more muscle.” 

Lydia spoke and moved quickly. More bandits could be on them at any moment. Verza barely managed to swat her hands away as she went to take the arrow again. A strained imitation of her earlier smile stretched across her face like an ill-fitting mask.

“Listen, you seem  _ very _ well prepared, but seriously I can take it from he- AAGH!” 

Without warning, Lydia had darted back in and pulled the arrow out as fast as she could. It caught for just a moment, then slid free with a sickening pop. Verza slammed her head back on the cavern wall and slapped her other hand over her mouth to muffle her shout. Lydia spared a glance down the tunnel, but it seemed no one heard.

Verza's bleeding increased, but not nearly enough to suggest any major arteries had been cut. Lydia continued her treatment by pouring the contents of her vial over the wound. The saline solution washed away most of the blood, but its sting pulled another hiss from Verza. Her free hand slammed against the wall in a fist. Lydia recorked the vial and swapped it for the bandage. She wrapped the thin cloth tightly around Verza's upper arm. Dark red bloomed outward from the wound, but the stain quickly stagnated. After giving Verza one more look over and finding nothing but a few fresh bruises, Lydia let herself relax. A few moments passed where Verza caught her breath and Lydia packed up her supplies.

“Will you finally listen to me, you madwoman?” Verza groaned, breaking the quiet calm.

"My mistake," Lydia sniffed. "I'll just leave you to infection next time"

Verza shook her head against the rock wall. Her uninjured arm rose from her side and her fingers curled loosely around her palm. A soft, golden light sparked to life in the center of her hand. Wispy tendrils of light swirled down her arm to cocoon her entire upper body. As much as Lydia wanted to watch the magic work, the brilliance of it forced her to look away. When the light eventually faded, Verza tugged off the bloodied bandages, revealing a dark scar and nothing more.

"See? I can take care of myself," she said. 

Just the display of magic left Lydia a bit wonderstruck, but that didn't mean she trusted it to work completely. She gave Verza a skeptical hum and leaned forward to inspect the wound. All she could find was the new scar, and the bruises were all but disappeared. Now that she knew what to look for, she saw similar marks scattered across the woman's skin. She couldn't help wondering how many more were hidden by layers of steel and leather armor.

“I've seen this before," Lydia said, her voice hushed. "When Danica Pure-Spring healed some ill members of the city guard. But, where could  _ you _ have learned an art like this?” Her awe from before was crawling back and seeping, unwanted, into her tone.

Verza shrugged. “When you’re alone for as long as I’ve been, you pick up a few tricks.”

Irritation swept away the last of Lydia's quiet wonder. What kind of answer was that? Magic wasn't some trick to be stumbled upon, it was innate to a person's being. Few were born with that power in their veins, but of course, the legendary Dragonborn was one of those few. As if she wasn't powerful enough with the Thu'um at her command.

Lydia turned her glare to Verza's face, not that it would solve anything. That one look made her freeze, and suddenly all her thoughts were crashing and tripping over each other. Verza was staring at something far off in her memory, and whatever it was stained her features with solemn loneliness. For a moment, it seemed like her eyes really were made of ice, and they were sucking all the warmth Lydia hadn't realized the woman's face usually held. Before she could recollect herself, those eyes flicked back to reality, and Lydia immediately felt like she'd been caught looking at something intensely personal.

“Well!” Lydia huffed, quickly pulling back. “Even with arcane healing, you ought to rest before continuing on.” Maybe if she ignored it enough, the fluttering in her stomach would go away.

Verza opened her mouth to say something, but then, from the depths of the passage, a voice called out what sounded like a name. After a moment with no response, another called out a few more and swift footsteps echoed down the tunnel. Lydia heaved a heavy sigh, and Verza went to push herself to her feet. She froze at a deadly glare from Lydia.

“Magic is powerful, but not perfect,” she growled, her voice harsher than before. “You are still wounded, and I have seen too many make the mistake of fighting before they were ready. Stay back and rest or I  _ will _ find a way to make you.”

The voices were moving closer. Verza snorted but, to Lydia's relief, stayed seated. To avoid tripping over the bodies still strewn across the floor, Lydia took a few steps down the tunnel and readied herself. Two figures rounded another bend roughly twenty feet away. At the sight of Lydia standing alone before the bodies of their comrades, both bandits let loose ragged battle cries. Lydia narrowed her eyes as they charged.

The initial rush of fighting had already faded, leaving Lydia mostly just annoyed and a bit tired. How many of these bastards were there? There couldn’t be  _ that _ many more, they had already worked through a fair number. The first bandit reached her and swung their greatsword as she counted.

There had been the first two outside. Wait, no, that wasn’t right. Lydia deflected the blade with her shield and lunged. There were three outside, she'd forgotten one. Her sword drove up through the bandit’s stomach, forcing them to cough up blood. Shock and pain turned their face into an ugly grimace. The bandit collapsed forward as Lydia pulled back.

Three. Then, there were the other three just inside. So, that was three plus three. Lydia stepped to the side and flicked loose gore from her blade, leaving the first bandit to bleed out on the rocky floor. Their companion was nearly on her, this one wielding a pair of handaxes. She blocked their first swing with her shield and deftly dodged the second. What was three plus three?

Lydia swung hard and low, aiming for their knees. Her blade bit into thick hide armor and came back clean. She growled in frustration. The bandit swung at her again, giving her little time to think. Why the hell was it so hard to add three and three?!

She managed to block their next few swings but was forced a step back with each hit. The moment their frenzy let up, she pounced. They must have bet everything on that last flurry of attacks because their blocks grew sluggish. Lydia quickly made up the ground she'd lost, and when the opportunity presented itself she kicked the bloodied bandit to the ground. Three plus three is six!

Six bandits dealt with, eight if she included these two. She stomped on the bandit’s face with all her weight, crushing their skull. All she could hear was her own heart pounding a thousand times a second. As her heart rate slowed and the rush of blood in her head faded, she could make out what sounded like a low whistle. She glared over her shoulder and saw Verza, still sitting against the far wall and looking rather entertained.

“That was impressive,” she said. Lydia snorted dismissively, but Verza rushed to continue. “No, I mean it. I thought you were pretty good before, but that was incredible!"

This was ridiculous. Of course she could beat a couple of bandits, she'd been training for over half her life. That aside, she really didn’t want to think about how hot the praise made her face feel. She turned back to the dead bandit before her and swiped her blade on the fur of their armor. 

“I don’t know what you mean, my Thane. I am no more skilled than any other housecarl." Her words came out much heavier than she intended.

A choking silence filled the tunnel, but Lydia's mind was filled with thoughts shouting over each other. How dare this powerful, terrifying, mountain of an orc be impressed with  _ her _ ? Lydia would have never taken this task on alone, but she knew in her gut that Verza would and probably could take the entire camp by herself. How was Lydia supposed to protect someone so much more powerful than herself? If Verza really could take care of herself alone, what did that mean for Lydia? Would she, once again, be left behind?

A series of clanks behind her knocked Lydia from her spiral, but she couldn't turn back around. Instead, she took a few more steps down the tunnel and stood guard in the center of the path while Verza did something behind her. It sounded like she was walking between a few different points, pausing for a bit at each stop. Finally, she walked over to where Lydia stood and held something out to her.

Verza had her bracers and gauntlets, and Lydia realized belatedly that in her haste she'd forgotten to put them back on. She murmured her thanks and quickly donned the pieces of armor. Then, something metallic tapped her shoulder and she looked over again to see Verza holding out her throwing knife by the blade. Less than a day outside Dragonsreach and it seemed Lydia was already becoming careless. She took her knife back with another, more embarrassed thanks.

“Should just be their chief left,” Verza said, nodding down the tunnel. “Why don't we finish this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: I've been doing lots of reseach (read: googling) on suits of armor and I prefer to use the proper terms for the pieces when I can, but I know it's not common knowledge so I'll throw anything I had to look up in the end notes! That said, a tasset is a piece of armor that hangs from the breastplate or faulds to protect the upper thigh. I don't know if it's accurate or possible to, like, strap a pouch there with emergency medical supplies, but I think it could work so I'll do what I want. Also this is fiction and the armor police aren't gonna arrest me or whatever
> 
> I'm posting this a few days later than I originally intended, but I got hit with a different hyperfixation and that made it hard to work on this for a hot minute lol. I'll be visiting family the end of this week and beginning of next, so my goal is to have another chapter ready for the weekend after. If this focus on fighting isn't your thing then worry not, we are nearing the end of this quest. If you DO like all the fighting, well, Skyrim is a dangerous place and I'm sure our lovely ladies will run into some more trouble soon enough ;)
> 
> Thanks for stopping by, I'll catch y'all later!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fighting and a bit of sass

Verza led the way farther down the tunnel, coming to a stop when they hit another sharp turn. A bright light flickered against the wall from somewhere beyond the curve, and frantic voices were whispering. Lydia froze, straining to make out what the voices were saying. Verza pressed against the tunnel wall to peek around the corner. An arrow whizzed just past her head, and a new voice shouted over the others. 

Verza jerked back, nearly knocking Lydia over. So much for the element of surprise. They only had a few moments before the last of the bandits' forces swarmed the tunnel. Lydia couldn't help her annoyance at having no idea what they were rushing into, but if they held back too long they'd be stuck fighting in the narrow tunnel again. Before she could voice her concerns, Verza waved her closer.

"I want to go right for their chief, think you can keep the rest of them off my back?" she hissed. Lydia nodded. It was better than no plan at all, but not by much. 

"Best if I go first," Lydia whispered back, lifting her shield. "Try to keep either of us from being shot."  _ Again _ , she added in her head.

Verza stepped aside and gestured in front of her with a bow. "Be my guest."

At this point, Lydia had given up on trying to understand her Thane's odd mannerisms. She just raised her shield and darted around the corner. Verza followed close behind, her battleaxe nearly brushing the ground. When the first arrow thunked against her shield, Lydia risked a glance over its edge.

The rocky tunnel floor turned into a wooden plank platform with a railing on her left and the cave wall on her right. An archer was nocking another arrow roughly ten steps ahead, right in front of a stack of barrels, crates, and sacks. Lydia ducked back behind her shield again and counted down the steps until she could swing.

Five steps onto the platform, a shout on her left drew her eye. A massive man, maybe six feet tall, was swinging a warhammer down on her. Lydia only hoped she was faster than the man's hammer, because blocking with her shield could mean an arrow between her eyes. Halfway through the hammer's fall, Verza caught the man's blow with the handle of her axe. She had that frenzied look again, and her entire face was set in a ferocious snarl. All Lydia saw was Verza kicking the man down a small set of stairs and onto the rock floor below before she had to turn back to the archer.

Another arrow struck her shield, this time bouncing off a metal stud. At three steps away, the archer dropped their bow and reached for a dagger. Lydia could see their confidence turn into terror as she took those last few steps. Finally within range, she planted her foot and stabbed. 

Her blade shoved through the archer's stomach and out their back, splattering hot blood onto the barrels and crates behind them. Lydia pulled her sword back and pushed with her shield. The archer's body slid easily off her blade and collapsed into a gruesome pile. Just as she stepped away, a bolt of fire shot past her nose, close enough to blister her cheeks.

The bolt's path brought Lydia's gaze across the cavernous room to a mage standing behind and to the side of a small firepit surrounded by bedrolls. She had one hand stretched forward, and Lydia could see another firebolt swirling to life in it. On the other side of the firepit, Verza blocked a blow from the bandit chief's greatsword. Then, at the foot of the small staircase, the man Verza had kicked earlier stirred.

The man was the closer threat, but the mage would almost certainly hit her with that next firebolt if Lydia paused to finish him off. She also couldn't afford to let that woman's fire turn towards Verza. Facing the chief alone, she was sure the orc woman could win, but any distraction could be fatal. The mage was only twenty paces away, and even from that far Lydia could tell she wore little by way of actual armor. If she relied on distance to protect her, then Lydia would just have to be faster than the mage's spell casting. All the fighting up to this point was taking its toll on Lydia's stamina, though. This sprint would probably be her last until she rested properly.

Lydia dove from the top of the small staircase, bypassing the man still recovering at its foot. She rolled back to her feet as another firebolt blazed over her and kept running. Lydia caught the mage's eye and the woman blanched. Her hand swung in a quick circle, bringing a nearly invisible ward to life in front of her. From behind her feeble protection, the mage shot bolt after bolt of fire. Her aim was panicked, though, and Lydia dodged or deflected every shot.

The ward shattered the moment Lydia slashed through it. The mage scrambled backward, but couldn't avoid Lydia's second swing. The woman fell to the ground, and Lydia quickly ended her pitiful life.

On her right, Lydia could see Verza and the bandit chief still fighting. Verza had the chief pushed back against the wall, but the woman was holding her own unfortunately well. She kept dodging Verza’s swings, and the few that did hit were glancing at best. Lydia couldn’t continue watching, though. The last bandit had finally made it back to his feet.

The man bellowed as he charged Lydia head-on. She didn't stand a chance against a direct hit, even deflecting his hammer might break her arm. Her best bet was to let him get within range then dodge to one side. While he was still caught in his swing, she could cut at his side. Assuming she still had the energy to do anything but dodge. Her breathing was labored now, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep fighting.

For the second time that day, a shout boomed through the small cave system. Lydia managed to stay on her feet this time, but the man staggered. Both of their eyes flicked instinctively to the shout's source, and they both saw the bandit chief fall to her knees. Verza stood over her, her own eyes blazing in the firelight and her battleaxe raised high. With one more, massive swing she cut clean through the chief's neck and sent her head rolling. The follow-through tore the weapon from her hands. For one long second, she just stood, panting and hunched over the chief's corpse.

The man finally shattered the silence with a bloody scream. He moved to charge Verza instead, but Lydia was faster. Her blade cut through the exposed flesh of his thigh and caught on bone. The man howled, but held onto enough of his senses to seize Lydia's sword arm. He threw her aside, nearly wrenching her shoulder out of socket. 

Lydia's back hit the cave wall and her hands flew to her unprotected head. She slid down the last few inches of wall and landed on her already aching shoulder. Another shout, this one quieter but much more savage, forced her eyes back open.

Verza was charging the man without a weapon. It could have just been a trick of the light, but Lydia could have sworn the orc woman's eyes flashed blood red. She caught the man's jaw with a vicious uppercut that knocked the warhammer from his grasp. As he fell, Verza pounced. By the time he hit the ground, she had his torso pinned with her thighs. Again and again, she punched down on his face. He struggled under her weight, throwing a few good punches of his own, but he couldn't knock Verza loose.

Finally, the man fell still. Verza pushed herself back to her feet. She kicked the corpse once, just to be sure, then stumbled to the center of the cavern a few feet away. The way she flopped onto her back had Lydia concerned until loud, manic laughs echoed through the cavern.

What Verza found so amusing was beyond Lydia's imagination. She tried to push herself up, but a sharp stab of pain in her shoulder forced her to stop with a shallow hiss. After a steadying breath and a bit of struggle, Lydia managed to get herself sitting with her back against the wall. It would have been so easy to let herself slip into the dark embrace of sleep. Her duty, however, wouldn't let her rest until she was certain all danger to her charge had passed.

Then, just as suddenly as it had started, Verza's laughter fell silent. After a beat, she called, "You still alive over there?"

"Of course I'm alive," Lydia snarled. "Do you really think I'd fall to a few bandits?" Her response was met with another barking laugh, this one more genuine.

Lydia tried standing again, but without her second arm to steady herself, fell back to the ground. She was so focused on her subsequent attempts at standing that she didn't notice Verza getting up and approaching until a calloused, grey-green hand entered her field of view.

"Here, let me help you up."

Lydia stared at the outstretched hand for a moment too long. Finally, she swallowed her bitter pride and took it. Verza tugged her to her feet with surprising strength, then caught her when she stumbled a bit.

Verza's face set in a worried frown as Lydia steadied herself. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'll be fine," Lydia replied. "That bastard threw me, but nothing's broken." Lydia tried to shrug Verza's hand off her other shoulder, but the movement sent a shock of pain through her upper body. "Even so, it hurts like hell" she gasped.

That forced an amused snort from Verza that Lydia ignored. Now that she was standing, Lydia could see that her Thane was covered in drying blood. She hoped most of it wasn't Verza's, but the throbbing of her shoulder drove every other thought from her mind. Actually, it took most of her will and remaining energy just to stay upright.

Verza slung Lydia's good arm over her shoulders despite Lydia's tired objections and helped her limp over to the dwindling fire pit. Embarrassment burned through Lydia's veins. Was she was so helpless that she couldn't even walk by herself? The exhausted, practical part of her mind told her to just be grateful, but that didn't keep her pride from protesting with every step.

When they finally made it to the fireside, Verza carefully lowered Lydia back to the ground. Lydia settled on one of the abandoned bedrolls opposite the cavern's opening. A bit too late, she realized she should probably thank Verza. Before she could, the woman stood and headed toward the cavern entrance.

"Ah, where are you going, my Thane?"

Verza looked back and gave what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile. "Well, one of us should get our stuff before it gets too dark, and I can still walk. Don't worry, I'll be right back." At Lydia's unconvinced hum, she turned around fully, crossed her arms, and lifted a brow. "Look, can you stay back and rest, or do I have to find a way to make you?"

Lydia could only blink at her own words being thrown back in her face. In all fairness, Verza's tone was more teasing than menacing, but that didn't make the argument any less valid. She gave in with a heavy sigh.

"Yes, I can stay and rest," she said, her tone flat and dry. "Please be careful, my Thane. There may still be other bandits about."

Verza turned back to the tunnel with a wave of her hand and a dismissive  _ pshaw _ . "I'm always careful," she lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I intend that hiatus to be as long as it was? Not really, but sometimes you don't realize how burnt out you are until you take a break. Anyway, with the fall semester starting soon, I won't have nearly as much free time as I do now. I want to post chapters monthly here on out, but we'll have to see how that goes.
> 
> If you like what I write, please consider visiting me on twitter @PrezDragon! My pinned tweet has a couple ways to support me, but I also LIVE for attention so,,, follow me maybe? Or just drop a like or something, I'm not picky. Until next time! o7


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long day of fighting, it's time for a snack and a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much fun as I was having with the chapter titles, I genuinely have no idea where to go with them from here so I think I'm just gonna leave them blank from here on out lmao.

Now alone in the cavernous room, Lydia began plucking at the straps of her outer armor with her good hand. It was early afternoon when they'd arrived, so it must be early evening by now. And with winter creeping ever closer, the sun was setting earlier and earlier every night. They wouldn't make it back to Whiterun before nightfall, and Lydia doubted her Thane would want to travel after dark. From what she'd seen, the woman was reckless, but not entirely stupid.

This cave system was probably the safest place to spend the night now that the bandits were dealt with. It was sheltered from whatever cold winds might blow throughout the night, and the fire chased off enough of the underground chill to make the cavern tolerable. Not to mention the more obvious protection from whatever beasts roamed Skyrim's countryside at night.

Once the straps came loose, Lydia carefully maneuvered her chest plate around her injured arm and set it by her side. For a moment, she just enjoyed breathing freely. The worst of the pain in her shoulder had already faded, which bode well, but her skin was still tender to the touch. When she tried to raise her arm, she couldn't even get it level with her shoulder. Lydia let her arm drop into her lap with a sigh. It certainly wasn't the worst injury she'd ever had, and considering the circumstances, she could be a lot worse off. Even so, she hated feeling even the slightest bit helpless.

Echoing footsteps cut through her thoughts, and at once Lydia was back on high alert. Her hand hovered over the handle of her sword, ready to attack if need be. When it was only Verza that stepped into the cavern, she let out a quiet, relieved sigh. The orc woman greeted her with a shit-eating grin that displayed the full length of her tusks.

"What, did you think I was another bandit?" she teased.

Lydia nudged her sword away with a snort. "For all I knew, you could have been."

Verza shrugged dismissively as she approached. She first set Lydia's pack by her side, then sat a few feet away with her own on her lap. Lydia murmured a thank you, but she wasn't sure Verza heard. The woman was too busy rummaging through the contents of her bag to reply.

"You know, it's ok to relax a little," she mused after a moment of searching. "Even if there were more bandits around, seeing the rest of their crew dead would be enough to scare those cowards away." 

Lydia stared into the low fire before her. What Verza said was mostly true. At their core, most bandits were just weak, terrified skeevers clinging to whatever power they could find. Kill their leader, and the rest would scatter. But Lydia also knew the damage the exceptions to this rule could cause if she let her guard down.

"My duty is to protect you, my Thane, and out here there are no such guarantees," she said. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Verza pause. Then, a triumphant shout made Lydia jump. She turned to glare at Verza, but was met with a wide grin and outstretched hands.

"Here, drink this. It's not much, but it should get you back to your feet."

Verza held out a small corked bottle that was dwarfed by her calloused, grey-green hands. Lydia took it reluctantly. Red-tinted glass reflected flashes of firelight into her eyes, but couldn't completely obscure the syrupy liquid inside. Once she realized what the bottle contained, she hurried to give it back.

"Oh, I couldn't-" 

"Pbbtht!" Verza's childish interruption startled away the rest of Lydia's thoughts. "You said your job is to protect me, right? How're you gonna do that with a busted arm?" The woman's arms were crossed now, and her pout dared Lydia to object.

Lydia's eyes narrowed. She knew Verza was just trying to appeal to her sense of duty, but that knowing that didn't stop the ploy from being effective. It seemed that Lydia had underestimated her Thane's acuity somewhat. With a resigned huff, she uncorked the bottle and downed its contents.

Potions were never known for their flavor, and this one was no exception. It slipped down her throat like oil, leaving a gross flim on her tongue and making Lydia grimace. The liquid burned the whole way down to her stomach, but quickly faded to a faint warmth that settled at the bottom of her stomach. That warmth migrated outward, concentrating around her bruised arm and shoulder. When even that faded, she was left feeling far fewer aches, but exactly as exhausted. Her arm now sported a collection of faded yellow bruises, but whatever other surface-level nicks and bruises she'd had were gone.

"Better?" Verza asked. Lydia nodded.

"Much," she admitted, handing back the now-empty bottle.

Verza tucked it into her pack with a soft smile. It was quiet for a while as both women focused on removing their outermost armor. They were both clearly exhausted and would need some rest before the long walk back to Whiterun in the morning, but that often proved hard to find with plates of steel strapped to themselves. Once her own armor sat in a neat pile, Lydia pulled a rag and spare waterskin from her pack, then used the dampened cloth to wipe the worst of the sweat and gore from herself. It wasn't the hot bath she truly craved at the moment, but it got the job done. When Verza finally kicked her last boot onto her own messy pile of armor, Lydia re-wet the rag and offered it to the much grimier woman. Thankfully, Verza understood and gratefully accepted.

Now that the adrenaline of fighting was out of her system completely, Lydia was very aware of the fact that she hadn't eaten since breakfast. Her stomach grumbled as if to drive that point home, but all it really did was pull an amused chuckle from Verza.

"You know," she said, her voice echoing in the small cavern. "I bet those bandits kept some food around here somewhere, and I don't think they'll be eating it anytime soon…" She shot Lydia a sly smile.

"Yes, I suppose so. It  _ would _ be a shame to let it go to waste," Lydia replied. The corners of her lips twitched as she spoke. Sweet divines, this exhaustion must be making her loopy.

They each took opposite ends of the room to search through whatever crates, chests, and barrels they could find. After a few dead ends foodwise, Lydia cracked open a small crate filled with dried meat, then another of fresh bread and vegetables. It wasn't exactly a piping hot meal, but Lydia figured it would do just fine. It was certainly better than the hardtack in her pack. She stacked the crates and carefully deposited them near the fire. A long, low whistle suddenly cut through the silence.

"Those bandits sure loved their mead," Verza said.

The orc woman stood, hands on her hips, staring down four small crates that she'd lined up on the ground in front of herself. Each seemed to be filled with eight bottles of similar sizes, though from this distance Lydia couldn't be sure. She strode to the nearest of the crates and pulled out a single bottle to inspect. The fire cast enough light that, if she turned the bottle just right, she could make out the familiar label.

"I doubt they planned to drink  _ all _ of this," she snorted. "It's all Honningbrew, which sells for a decent price almost anywhere." 

She held the bottle out for Verza to see, pointing to the label. When Verza stepped closer for a better look, Lydia became very aware of how much taller she was. At best, her eyes were just about level with Verza's shoulders. Then, Verza's hand went to tilt the bottle the slightest bit, and the rough, calloused palms brushing against the back of her hand had Lydia nearly jumping out of her skin. 

"Interesting," Verza breathed. "How's it taste?"

"I wouldn't know," Lydia replied, her mouth painfully dry. She shifted the bottle fully into Verza's hands, then rushed back to the relative safety of the fire's side before her whole body combusted. Was it possible to get a fever from extreme fatigue? Probably not, but stranger things had happened that day.

"Well, no better time to find out!" This declaration was followed by a quiet  _ pop! _ and the sound of chugging.

With how desperately she was trying to wish the blush from her cheeks, it took Lydia a couple moments to realize what Verza was doing. As much as this wasn't the safest place to be drinking, it had been a rather tiring day for them both. She couldn't begrudge the woman a drink after it all. Lydia just resigned herself to remaining extra vigilant throughout the night and focused on sorting through the contents of the crates she'd moved. The vegetables would be better suited for a stew of some kind, but even a small batch would take too long to be ready.

A soft thunk echoed through the cavernous room, followed by renewed crackling and snapping of the fire. When she glanced up, Verza was poking at the small campfire with another split log. Embers flew as the logs shifted and settled, then she balanced the one in her hand on top of the burning pile. Finally, Verza dusted her hands on her pant legs and took back her seat.

"So, what did  _ you _ find?" she asked, looking up at Lydia from her seat. She took a sip of the mead she apparently hadn't finished.

"Not much, unfortunately," Lydia replied, turning back to the open crates. "There's plenty of dried meat and bread here, but anything else would probably need to be cooked. Unless you prefer your vegetables raw?"

"I'll leave the rabbit food for the rabbits, thanks," Verza grumbled.

With a small amused snort, Lydia gave a few strips of dried meat and a small loaf to Verza, then returned to her own seat with her own dinner. Verza wolfed down her entire serving before Lydia had even finished half of her own. All her earlier amusement vanished. Divines help her, this woman ate like she hadn't seen food for months.

When Verza moved to get more, Lydia finally noticed the bottle of mead sitting within her reach. Before she could think better of it, she had the bottle opened and to her lips. Her meal of bread and dried meat had left her far too parched, she rationalized. The mead was smooth and sweet, the thick taste of honey masking the alcoholic burn well. No wonder it was popular. Lydia forced herself to stop at just a swig and return to her meal.

Comfortable silence filled the room as they both ate their fill, which Lydia very much appreciated. The constant stream of conversation over dinner was the main reason she avoided the main hall during meal times. Her rank inside Dragonsreach was high enough that she was welcome to eat with the rest of the Jarl's officials, but she much preferred taking her meals somewhere secluded and quiet. There was little more annoying than being asked a question right after taking a bite.

Finally satisfied, they sipped at the dregs of their drinks and watched the fire burned lower. Lydia should have known that the tranquility of the moment was only temporary.

"How did you become a housecarl, if that's ok for me to ask? I don't want to be rude or anything, I'm just curious. You fight a lot better than a lot of people I've met, so I'm assuming you had some kind of training?" Verza went for another sip, but frowned when her bottle turned out to be empty. She set it aside with a soft clink against the stone floor.

Lydia swirled the last of the mead in her bottle while she considered the question. That story wasn't one she enjoyed telling if she was being honest. Since coming to Whiterun, she'd only told it in its entirety to a handful of people. Still, as her Thane, Verza deserved at least a simplified version of the truth.

"No, that's a fair question. I began my training with the city guard," Lydia said. "Irileth offered me an apprenticeship just as that finished. I trained with her for a few more years until she said she'd taught me all she could, and I was given housecarl status. It's been a long time since the Jarl saw fit to name a new Thane, though, so I've just been helping him however I can. Until you came along, that is." With her shortened recounting of events finished, Lydia downed the last of her drink.

Verza hummed. "So you're from Whiterun, then?"

"No, I'm not."

Verza waited for her to elaborate, but the longer Lydia stared into the fire, the clearer it became that she wouldn't. Eventually, Verza just shrugged. 

"Well, I'm not from Whiterun either, you know."

Those words had no right making Lydia choke back a laugh, but something about the way Verza said it, like it was a secret she'd never shared before, caught her so off guard that she couldn't help it. Her exhaustion was getting to her, that had to be why. That or the mead was much stronger than she thought.

"I never would have guessed," she spluttered, barely keeping herself from falling into a giggling fit. Her hand flew to cover her mouth as she tried to regain her composure. When her gaze flitted back to Verza to gauge her reaction, she was surprised by the woman's massive grin.

"You  _ can _ laugh!" Verza exclaimed. Lydia could only blink in shock. At least that put an end to her uncharacteristic laughing fit.

"I- Yes, of course I can. Why shouldn't I?" She wasn't quite sure if she should be offended by that.

"Wait, no, I'm sorry, It's just- when we met last night, and all day today, you always looked so serious. I was starting to worry I'd done something to offend you." Verza finished with a relieved chuckle.

Did she really look that stern? Going over her recent memory, she couldn't find a time she was particularly amused. She had noticed that Verza seemed to laugh a lot, but she had just written it off as another odd quirk to an already odd woman. Was it actually Lydia who was weird?

Lydia shook her head, both to jostle her thoughts and to deny Verza's claim. "No, no, I... I'm just like that, I suppose." 

Verza turned back to the fire, her smile now much softer and her voice quieter. "That's alright. I've been told I'm too carefree, so it can't hurt to have someone with her feet on the ground nearby. That is, if you even  _ want _ to travel with me?"

Lydia forced herself to pause before answering. What she wanted didn't actually matter in the face of her duty, but she knew that answer hadn't gone over well the last time Verza asked. Though, that was probably her own fault. In the moment, she'd assumed the question had been some kind of mean spirited jest. Lydia was enough of an adult to recognize when she'd jumped to conclusions. Well, she could when she'd had time to cool off, at least.

Now, though, Lydia could see Verza's face, illuminated by the flickering fire. She could see the sincerity in her eyes. It seemed that Verza's concern over Lydia's desires was genuine. The thought that she could be more than the sword she wielded was as terrifying as it was appealing. What if, despite what everything in life had told her, what she wanted  _ could _ matter?

"Yes," Lydia decided. "I think I'd like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slaps my own fanfic* this bad boy can fit so much longing in it!
> 
> Also!!! I posted this on artfight like two months ago, but I forgot to link it with the last chapter update. It's a simple character sheet I made for Verza back in June-ish? You can take a peek at it here -> https://artfight.net/character/979286.verza-skullcrusher (and maybe I'll be able to be more active in artfight next year lmao)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroines finally return to Whiterun, where Lydia finds a little surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, uh, it's been a hot minute, huh? I've had this chapter in my drafts since last September lol, just haven't had a lot of time (or motivation) to keep working on it. But here we are! I've finally got it in a state I'm content posting!

The rest of the night passed in relative peace. Verza insisted on taking the first watch, and after a full day of walking and fighting Lydia was too exhausted to argue. She was woken by a prod to her shoulder a little after midnight. Sleeping on the cold stone floor with nothing but her bedroll hadn't done much for her sore body, but it took the edge off her exhaustion. Verza curled up on her own bedroll to rest until the sun rose in a few hours, leaving Lydia alone with her thoughts.

Sitting in silence for hours wasn't all that appealing even though she knew the importance of being on guard when resting in an unknown location. She would just take her time preparing for the journey back home. After stretching a bit, Lydia wiped down her armor as best she could. She'd still have to clean it properly when they got back to Whiterun, but at least she wouldn't smell like a butcher's stall the whole way back.

Some time while Lydia slept, Verza had removed the rest of her own armor. The haphazard pile she'd left it in made Lydia sigh and shake her head. Really, that was just childish. Even the apprentice guards knew to treat the armor that protected them with respect. Well, when Verza's armor eventually grew weak from disrepair she'd have no one but herself to blame.

After repacking her travel supplies as slowly as she could stand, Lydia jogged to the cave entrance and peeked out at the early morning sky. The tiniest fragment of sun poked over the horizon, staining the dark star-scattered atmosphere with subtle pinks and yellows. This was pretty close to when she usually woke up, if not a bit earlier, so Lydia returned to their camp and finished preparing for the day. Finally, she prodded Verza's shoulder firmly. The woman just grumbled and rolled over. With a sigh, Lydia shook Verza's shoulder harder.

"Come now, My Thane, the sooner we return to Whiterun, the sooner you may rest in a proper bed."

After much grumping and groaning, Verza pushed herself to her feet. This was a completely different woman from one Lydia met the day before. Verza's feet dragged as she shuffled to her pile of armor, and her fingers fumbled with the various straps and ties. After watching her silently struggle for a few moments, Lydia stepped forward and swiftly buckled the strap causing Verza so much trouble.

"Sorry," Verza mumbled, "M' not a morning person…"

Lydia said nothing, just guided Verza through a shortened version of what she assumed was the woman's morning routine. As they went, the grogginess of Verza's movements melted away until, just as they were ready to leave, she appeared to be fully alert. Once she was sure Verza wouldn't fall back asleep on her feet, Lydia finished collecting her things and stamped out the last of their fire.

Their first steps out of the small cave system were met with a blast of icy wind and blinding sunlight. Overnight, winter had taken another step closer. Aside from the chill, though, the trek back to the city was rather uneventful. Both of their packs bulged with the trinkets and small treasures Verza had deemed valuable enough to haul back to the city as well as a crate filled with bottles of mead that Verza had to carry with both hands. 

To Lydia's surprise, the city walls came into view while the sun was still high in the sky. It probably helped that, with the crate in her hands, Verza couldn't stop to investigate every little plant she thought looked interesting. The nearby farmers glanced up from their fields as the women passed, but otherwise, their return wasn't really acknowledged. The guards at the front gate just gave them small nods on their way through.

Lydia followed her Thane down Whiterun's main road, headed, she assumed, to the bustling market square. Some city residents paused in their daily activities, ogling the orc that towered over most all of them. By now, news of Verza's title should have filtered down to the common folk, but few of them had seen her beyond a quick glance. That being said, while their stares were understandable, the attention made Lydia's skin itch. She couldn't wait to retreat to the quiet solitude of Dragonsreach.

Finally, Verza came to a stop next to the Bannered Mare's front steps. She dropped the crate of mead onto the ground next to her, sending the sharp clacks of full bottles hitting each other echoing through the square.

"I think my fingers went numb there for a bit," she laughed, shaking her hands out as she spoke. She then held a hand out at Lydia. "Here, I'll take back that bag I gave you. Thanks, by the way. I probably wouldn't be able to carry it all myself."

Lydia shrugged off her extra load and handed it over. "Of course," she said. "I am sworn to carry your burdens."

Verza scrunched her nose at that, but didn't comment on it. Instead, she dropped her own pack and the one from Lydia on top of the crate and stretched out her back. Her deep breath turned into a massive yawn that just as quickly turned into an exasperated chuckle.

"Eugh, I'm  _ still _ exhausted," Verza complained.

Lydia nodded. "Yes, that  _ is _ a consequence of walking for most of the morning after sleeping for half a night on a cavern floor."

Verza snorted, then glanced at the inn's front entrance. "Well then, I'd better see if Hulda will actually buy these off me so I can get back to sleep. You're probably itching to get cleaned up too, huh?"

"It would be nice to change into fresh clothes," Lydia admitted. "But I left all of that at Dragonsreach…"

"You go on, then. I have a few other errands I want to run before we collect our bounty, so I'll probably be back there tomorrow afternoon. We can regroup in the main hall, if that's alright with you?" Verza had put it as a question, but Lydia took it as an order on reflex.

"As you wish, my Thane," she replied, quickly squashing the uneasiness in her gut. She wasn't being dismissed, this was simply a necessary break to recoup. Lydia made her way back to Dragonsreach still fighting off that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Walking back up the steps of Dragonsreach alone felt strange, and though Lydia knew she'd only been away less than two days, it strangely felt as if she'd been gone for months. The giant front doors were far too intimidating, so she slipped around the side of the hall to the smaller kitchen entrance. Thankfully, since it was still so early in the afternoon there were very few people around the kitchen, and she was able to slip into the guards' quarters unnoticed.

Her bed was just as she'd left it, neatly made and untouched. It was quite a relief to finally shed her pack and armor, and it left her feeling light. After pulling some common clothes and towels from her small dresser, Lydia swiftly made her way to the small bathing room in the back of Dragonsreach.

It certainly wasn't a hot bath, but it was better than taking a dip in the icy river nearby. Some of the stream running through town had been rerouted when Dragonsreach was first built, and a portion of that let out into a small pool in this room. The water gathered here, surrounded by stone walls on three sides and a shorter stone bench along the fourth, then flowed back out through a grate in the back wall. If she had the patience for it, Lydia could even scoop water into a small washtub and warm it over a fire. Right now, though, she needed to be clean more than comfortable.

Lydia quickly washed with the chilly water from the pool, scrubbing away that past two day's grit and grime from her skin. She also took the time to let her hair down completely and scratch at her scalp. Finally feeling civilized again, she dried off, changed into her fresh clothes, and rebraided her still-damp hair. With her dirty clothes in a sack for when she eventually got around to her laundry, Lydia started back toward her quarters.

On the way, she spotted one of the many guards on patrol throughout the keep. This wasn't all that unusual, there were guards passing through Dragonsreach's many halls at all times of the day. This guard, though, paused at the sight of her and quickly pulled off their helmet.

"Didn't think I'd run into you so soon," the guard said, a teasing grin plastered across the woman's face.

"Kirste! I- I thought you were reassigned to Riverwood?" Lydia surged forward to give her friend a firm hug, then pulled her to the side of the narrow hallway.

Kirste nodded, a tight braid keeping her hair from falling into her face. "I was, but Jarl Balgruff called some of us back after the dragon attack." The woman's blue eyes became impossibly darker at the thought of the lives lost.

Lydia grimaced, mostly at herself. In all the commotion of the past two days, she had completely forgotten about the attack. She hadn't known any of the fallen personally, which was a gift in itself, but that didn't make the guilt gnawing at her any less powerful.

"I suppose that means the guard will begin recruiting in earnest again," Lydia said, hoping to move past this somber subject quickly. Kirste nodded again.

"Yes, that was also part of why I was brought back. I've been put in charge of training some of the new recruits." Her voice swelled a bit in pride, and Lydia did her best to give Kirste an encouraging smile.

"That's wonderful, congratulations!" 

Even as she said it, Lydia couldn't put her whole heart into her words. Just the thought of other people looking to her for direction gave her hives. Not to mention the fact that whoever was training recruits wasn't leaving the city any time soon. She couldn't imagine ever desiring that position, but Kirste seemed happy enough to be assigned to it. Lydia tried to just be happy that her friend was happy.

"Thank you," Kirste replied. "From what I hear, though, I'm not the only one with a sort of promotion. How have things been with the new Thane? I heard you two left the city yesterday morning." The woman leaned onto the wall as she spoke, settling into the conversation

Lydia hummed, trying to get her thoughts collected and orderly before speaking. "We took care of some bandits north of here. I think it was the thane's way of testing my capabilities," she snorted.

"Weird," Kirste commented, "Doesn't she know how much training it takes to become a housecarl?"

"Thane Verza is new to Skyrim, it seems, and doesn't know much about our customs," Lydia replied. "She didn't even know what a thane was. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out why the Jarl gave such an honor to an outsider. She's strong, I'll give her that, but I worry about her lack of restraint. Not to mention how reckless she is." Kirste tried, and failed, to choke back a laugh, which completely derailed Lydia's train of thought. "What?" she snapped.

Kirste waved off Lydia's irritation with an amused smile. "Nothing, I just don't think I've ever heard you say more than five words about another person before."

That made Lydia pause. It was true that she tended to keep her opinions of others close to her chest, but she didn't realize it was to this extent. Then, a fresh wave of exhaustion rolled over her. She didn't even bother trying to stifle the yawn that accompanied it.

"Shit, you must be exhausted," Kirste said, pushing herself back upright. "You just got back, right? You were probably going to bed when I stopped you."

Lydia shrugged, another yawn pushing at the base of her throat. "I was actually thinking about getting something to eat first."

"Either way, I should let you get back to it. I've got my patrol to finish, anyway." 

Kirste shuffled away from the wall, letting Lydia move past with a soft goodbye. She only made it a few steps before a gloved hand on her shoulder made her pause. When she looked back, Kirste seemed almost as surprised at the action as Lydia.

"I- um, I was hoping we could talk? Not now, obviously, but sometime soon. With everything changing, I just thought, maybe..."

Lydia's mind went blank, and if she was being honest the next few moments were a bit of a blur. She vaguely remembered saying something noncommittal before breaking away and hurrying to her quarters. She tossed the sack of dirty clothes onto the ground next to her bed, then sat at the end of it. Her head hit the wall with a quiet thump as she leaned back, the heels of her palms rubbing tiredly at her eyes. She couldn't be certain what Kirste wanted to talk about, but she had a few guesses, none of which she wanted to consider at the moment.

After a long moment wrestling with her own thoughts, Lydia let out a heavy sigh and pushed herself back to her feet. There was still a lot she needed to do before she could succumb to the quiet thoughtlessness of sleep, and the sooner she got it all done the sooner she could escape her own roiling thoughts, if only for a few hours. One problem at a time, she reminded herself. One problem at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's the perfectionist in me, but it takes me a lot of work to get a chapter to where I want to post it. But then, when I look at the older chapters, I can't help thinking "y'all like this garbo??" lmao. I know my writing isn't the worst out there, and in general, I'm proud of what I've managed to write so far. You know what they say, we're all our own worst critics.
> 
> Anyway, I won't make any promises on when I'll be able to have the next chapter by. My classes and work start up again soon, so I'll be pretty busy with those. I am forever grateful to all of you that still read, leave kudos, and comment (even if I forget to reply most of the time afsjafkjf)
> 
> Thank you!! Y'all are the spark that keeps my motivation burning! And if you can't get enough of my fun personality, feel free to follow me on twitter @prez_dragon or tumblr at presidentdragon (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ𓇼

**Author's Note:**

> Before I peace out, I did want to genuinely say thank you all so much for your support of my other fics. Like, comments and kudos are 100% the reason I was finally able to crawl out of my writer's block pit and get this fic rolling again. I've been working off and on on a bunch of other writing projects, but being able to focus on just one thing and make it the best it can be has been pretty motivating. I can't make any guarantees on an update schedule, but I'm sincerely hoping to post weekly until the end of the summer. We'll have to see how much life happens between now and then :/
> 
> Also, I know the world's kinda wack at the moment, so I hope something like this can be as much of a healing distraction for you as it's been for me. follow me on twitter @prezdragon for more of... me? I post a lot of animal crossing and doodles so that's fun. I'll see y'all later!


End file.
